“The 5 Biggest Regrets People Have on Their Deathbeds — And How to Avoid Them”

What People Regret Most When They’re About to Die — And Why It Matters to You

At a recent University of Pennsylvania commencement speech, oncologist and bestselling author Dr. Siddhartha Mukherjee shared a powerful insight: in their final moments, many people express love, ask for forgiveness, and give thanks. But alongside those precious words, regrets often quietly surface—regrets that could have been avoided.

Bronnie Ware, a former palliative care nurse who spent eight years caring for terminally ill patients, listened closely to those last wishes. In her book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, she reveals the most common regrets people have at the end of their lives—and they’re lessons all of us should pay attention to.

Here are the top five regrets Bronnie heard over and over:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish I had let myself be happier.

The most common by far? Not living authentically. Ware explains, “When people realize their life is almost over, it becomes painfully clear how many dreams they left unrealized.” Often, this is because external pressures—from family, society, or fear—steer us away from our true desires.

Overworking is another major regret. A recent 2023 Harris Poll found that 78% of American workers don’t use all their vacation days, sacrificing rest and connection for work. Even Bill Gates admitted that he once didn’t believe in taking time off, only realizing later that life is so much more than work.

The lesson? Prioritize what really matters—love, joy, relationships, and being true to yourself. Those who find peace at the end of life are often those who chose happiness deliberately, instead of waiting for the “right time” that never came.

Bronnie Ware’s parting advice is simple but profound:
“Life is a choice. It is your life. Choose consciously. Choose wisely. Choose honestly. Choose happiness.”